That fear they possess, It's pouring from them through that dark place they hide.
He's shouting. "I'm fake, I lied, and i'm scared I'll pay the price!"
"Yes, you will."
A voice he hears, it's his conscience telling him, The thing he keeps burying underneath fake memories he created to stay afloat and ahead of her.
It's speaking up, and he hears it this time.
She's wining the race, and he can't stop her this time.
Above is a poem I wrote about the abusive mans struggle to continue his abusive patterns after the relationship is over. There is a battle inside this type of man. He craves to be the victor and have others see his way to be honest and true. Most of the time he is able to ignore that nagging feeling he gets when he realizes others see through his abusive traits.
But on occasion it cuts deep and he realizes for a short time that he really his the bad guy. Most men would feel this and recognize it as their conscience. And cause them to make the turn to be a better man. But for the abusive mans personality. They see it as a way to try harder to shut the women up. Destroy her at any means. Once the relationship is over his need to have all power and control over her increases quite intensely. He will create a continued hell for her as she tries to break free. And as she succeeds.(Those few who do) He will panic and in desperation seek ways to gain her attention again.
He will even use the children if any are born between them, and drag them through court. He will seek out another woman to manipulate into feeling pity for him and then becoming his assailant for future abusive maneuvers aimed at the women breaking free.
And the woman breaking free. Well she continues for years living in a constant hell. Haunted by emotional and physical abuse. Fighting to keep her children. Fighting to live her life. Fighting to survive.
But now living in a hell with two abusers. Her ex and his new wife. They will use every tactic they can imagine. The coldest most heartless kind to break her down so she will give up and beg for mercy. And if she doesn't, they will cut deeper.
The saddest part of this cycle is that another woman has fallen into his trap. And should be forewarned that this is the path he will take when she decides to break free. He has probably made slight threats in the beginning phases of their relationship that she brushed off as jokes or him being so hurt that hes saying things out of fear and pain. Not realizing those painful fears are lies. And you bet it believes them, most of the time.
If you are a woman in a post relationship abuse cycle find a safe place and break free. Your quality of life matters just as much as any ones. Be strong. He will likely continue but it will end. Don't hesitate. You and your children deserve a better life. As soon as possible. File that protective order get custody of your children. And move to a safe place.
It may be tough for some time. But it's important that you establish a firm ground to stand on. So he doesn't stand a chance at taking your entire life away.
Be well dear readers. And love one another.
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