Yes, I know it's a touchy subject. But it's one that needs to be discussed more than not. There's definitely areas within this topic that go without say and probably would benefit the children if these unresolved issues were evenly ironed out to suit the child.
Most issue we face with child support is purely ego. Second is with lack of income to cover most ordered amounts of support. With the average American earning a minimum wage and depending on demographics this is the bare minimum.
Now we need to ask our selves. Truthfully. "How much did it cost me to care for my child/children before the breakup with so and so?"
It's so very important to leave out what you want for your life when digging into the wallet of an ex and just think of your child.
If you can support yourself then it is not necessary to demand extra support beyond the means of the absent parent.
This is something that's very hard for us to do since we tend to feel as though we deserve something from an ex. But truthfully we don't. The child is the only one that is owed and it should be with understanding and a kind heart that we pursue monetary support for our children.
Now lets say all that has been worked out for the most part. Or worked out by the courts for you. How do you use that monetary child support?
towards housings and transportation costs?
Or are you putting minimum towards the beloved child and maximum towards any new electronics?
Money to spend on dates?
Gifts for the new spouse or BF/GF?
Or that long awaited vacation without the kids you've been waiting for?
Are you shopping for new outfits for yourself?
Oh maybe you're the parent that uses that child support to file a new motion in court every time the check arrives. Hoping to cut the absent parent off more while asking the court for more and more until there's nothing left to give nor live on.
Or maybe you are the parent with the cheap clothes from five years ago while you give all you can to the support and lively hood of your child.
It is hard for a non custodial parent to send monetary support to an ex when it's being displayed that the support is going towards the adults grandeur life style and the children are left looking raggedy.
Especially if that supporting parent has limited income and barely makes ends meet.
And if the supporting parent is given limited visitation or constant excuses as to why there wont be any visitation this weekend.
Well. Some or even most would say "Well, it's the right thing to do."
"At least I pay my support."
I disagree. I feel that if you see these things happening with your children then its time to speak up. You may not have all the time in the world to take time out from work or other events. But believe me. Children love to see their parents. They appreciate monetary support . But those dollar bills don't tell bed time stories nor do they mend a booboo or tuck in a sleepy child at bed time. Dollar bills dont show up to sporting events to cheer on the child. Id say definitely take a step in the right direction for the child. You wont regret it. Even if its hard on you.
And remember the world wont be conquered over night, but you can take one step at a time to regain your rightful strengths as a parent.
Be well lovely parents. ..you will hear from me again.
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